Changing Tides
by hideANDseakHannah
Summary: Bonnie Bennett wants nothing more than for life to be normal again. Jeremy alive, Elena non-psycho, Caroline happy..course it wouldn't be that easy, right?
1. Chapter 1

**guys. I'm feeling the feels. i just have to. I just do.**

**hannahkgilbert xx**

**bonnie's pov: **

The wind stirred around me, dusting my face with the now rising dirt. Nature was fighting against me, but I was stronger. I knew I was. I was going to bring Jeremy back and all of this was going to end. Elena was going to get better and the Salvatore's will finally stop fighting and maybe Caroline will learn to be happy again without Tyler.

They'd all sort of left the 'little witch' alone after prom. Caroline had disappeared and the Salvatore's focused all their energy on saving the long gone Elena , though, my prom king and date for all intensive purposes, was another story.

That night, after my meeting in the cave with Silas, I had gone home to find him sitting on my front porch. He stood up as I approached, lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. "Where'd you go?"

I barked out a laugh. "I needed some air." I answered, sitting on the front steps where he'd been sitting a few moments prior. "Elena tried to kill me."

His face contorted in confusion. "And?" He asked, sitting beside me wearing his signature puppy dog esk eyes and a troubled frown.

"I almost killed her." I replied, voice trembling in the cool nighttime air.

He let out a sigh. "Your magic?"

"Maybe." It was the simplest answer. I sighed, standing up and heading towards the door. "Thanks for tonight." I told him flatly, but he smiled in response. I think he knew how wrong the night felt without Jeremy. I think he knew that I'd seen him somehow. He knew how hard it was.

He nodded, standing and patting my shoulder. "Course. Night, Bonnie."

I nodded, then silently slipped into the house. He kept checking up on me every day, but I was planning, preparing and Silas was on speed dial. Part of me wasn't sure how I felt about it, though. When Silas came to me he almost always wore Jeremy's face. I had no chance of saying no to his demands.

He had the cure.

I had the magic.

Together the door to the other side would be unleashed. With it, bringing all the supernatural beings good and bad back from the dead, but also Jeremy. I would fight for Jeremy to the ends of this earth because he wasn't supposed to die. He wasn't supposed to end this way. It wasn't his fault, all the evil he experienced. He didn't deserve to be dead. Soon he wouldn't be.

The earth shuddered under my knees but I held firm. I was doing this. The spirits couldn't stop me.

"Bonnie!" The voice was far away, somewhere back in the trees behind me.

The wind picked up, fending off whomever it was coming toward me.

"Bonnie!" It called again, but now I let the wind's drop. "Bonnie! Stop it, Bonnie!" It was Jeremy's voice, Jeremy's hands grasping my shoulders. "You're killing yourself, Bonnie, stop!"

I shuddered against his arms. "It worked.." My voice was barely a whisper and I reached up, touching his face lightly.

"Bonnie?" He was confused, eyebrows knitting together. "What worked? What are you doing out here?"

I frowned, letting my fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his neck. "It doesn't matter anymore, Jer.."

His face paled and he tugged away, still holding me but so I couldn't touch his face. "Bonnie, look at me."

I blinked, slowly sitting up in his arms and looking at him. Ever so slowly, his face morphed before my own eyes into the kind one of Matthew Donavan. With that, I pressed my face to his chest and started to sob. I'd been so sure it'd worked. It'd felt so real, but it wasn't.

**bahhahahaha I win.**

**hannahkxx**


	2. Chapter 2

After that, Matt was on me more than ever. He picked me up every day from school and took my home like I was a five year old needing to be escorted to and from school not a powerful witch about to graduate high school.

I began to wonder if Silas had given up to me though. I hadn't so much as heard from him outside a dream since my most resent failure.

_"Bonnie you have to go back." He persisted, wearing his own face instead of a mask, because in my own mind that's what I saw. "You've got to open the doors. It's time now." _

The chant haunted me. When I was at school, when I was at home, when I was in the shower, when I was eating, when I was asleep. It was cold. I felt cold even when Matt pulled me into his arms for the fifteenth time this week when he pulled up in front of the grill instead of my house.

"You need to eat, Bonnie." He murmured when we pulled apart and I sighed. I guess he'd noticed that at lunch, while Caroline went on about Tyler's absence, I merely pushed the food around my plate.

"I know." I responded, following after him into the grill (because it's easier than fighting it). He slid into a booth near the back, nodding for me to slide in after him and I did, sitting across from him. "Don't you have to work?"

He shook his head. "I'm working the late shift tonight."

"Oh." I answered, but I found myself looking longingly over at the pool tables where Jeremy and I had once played. I could feel his arms around my waist, hear his laugh, and it was beautiful. He was beautiful. We were beautiful.

All too suddenly, a perky waitress appeared, asking for our drink orders and forcing me from the landslide of memories that was beginning to pour before my eyes. Matt ordered me a coffee when I didn't speak up. My arms wrapped around my arms, rubbing slowly to attempt to force some friction to warm my skin.

"Are you cold?" Matt asked and before I could dispute him, he was shedding his letterman jacket and handing it to me. If he would've given me time, I would've told him that I wasn't physically cold. I would've told him that the cold penetrating my body now wasn't something his jacket could fix. I would've told him that it came from somewhere deep inside of me. Instead, I slipped my arms into his jacket and forced a smile.

"Thanks, Matt."

He nodded. "Course.. what do you what to eat?"

I looked unseeingly at the menu, trying to focus on the words, but instead fighting off the sound of Jeremy's voice echoing through my ears at his words. "Um, a burger."

"Sounds good to me too." Matt agreed, flashing me a genuine smile that I wished I could return. Matt was such a good friend to me. I wasn't giving him anything, but he was fighting to make me feel alive again.

"What have we here?" The blood in my veins boiled. "Finally rebounding from my dead brother?" Elena's voice asked, trickling with laughter as she did.

Matt's face went blank, fighting the urge to defend me because we were supposed to being nice to Elena. "Great to see you too, Elena."

She nodded, leaning against the side of the booth with a wicked smile. "Of course, why wouldn't you? You only watched him die and didn't do _anything_."

Matt's face contorted angrily before he composed himself. "Elena, lay off."

"Why should I, Matt?" She answered, looking down at me coolly.

"Elena, are you playing nicely?" Damon asked, appearing over her shoulder and grabbing her arm.

She smirked back at him. "You know I'm not, Damon."

Damon smiled over at Matt and I. "Sorry about that...enjoy whatever this is." He said, looking between us assumingly and I sighed, relieved when he dragged her away.

"Bonnie, I'm-" Matt began, but I shook my head, shrugging off his jacket.

"Don't say it." I answered, handing him the jacket with a weak smile. "Thanks, Matt, but I'm going to walk home."

"Are you sure, Bon-?"

I nodded, standing. "I'll be fine, I promise."

Matt nodded. "Okay, well, just be careful."

I nodded, then walked out of the Grill, walking toward my house. I still felt cold, though, cold and sad. There wasn't anything to fix it though. Once I got home, I got in bed and went to sleep.

**hahahha i'm hilarious. **

**hannahkayxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**my bonnie bear is dead. and i'm not okay with that. but i'll move on because otherwise I'll be consumed in my not being okay and things will get bad again.**

**hannahkayxx**

The next morning was grey with fog. It was Monday morning so I had to force myself out of bed to go to school which almost killed me. I crawled into my clothes and down to the kitchen to eat, really not feeling alive. I'd lost all hope honestly and I just was just trying to get by now. It was too much to think about the fact that I'd tried to bring Jer back but it hadn't worked. It was just too much.

So I shoved a spoon full of cereal down my throat, fingers throwing my hair into a messy ponytail when I heard the door bell. With a sigh, I strolled to the door, opening it slowly. On the other side was Matt, my ever loyal puppy dog. He's worried about me. I could see it in his eyes. The idea would make me smile if I wasn't spiraling into depression.

"Hey Bonnie." He greeted, smiling broadly in his Matt Donavan oversized football player sort of way.

"Morning Matt." I agreed, forcing a smile now and standing up a bit straighter.

"Ready to go to school?" He asked, picking up my backpack from beside the door.

I sighed quietly but nodded, stepping outside and taking my backpack back. "I'm okay, Matt." I lied, closing and locking the doors behind me before walking toward my car.

He nodded. "I know.. just thought I would come over just in case, you know?"

I shrugged, nodding as I opened her car door. "Yeah." I slipped silently into the car then.

He got in beside me and frowned. "Bonnie, how are you, really?"

I sighed. "Matt, I'm fine."

He nodded, holding up his hands in defense. "Okay, okay. I believe you."

I could tell it was a lie, but I just shook my head in response.

He bit his lip, looking out the window almost awkwardly as we drove. "It's going to be okay, Bonnie."

I shook my head. "Matt, just stop this. You and I both know things aren't going to be okay!"

He frowned suddenly. "Bonnie-"

"No, Matt, just stop trying to justify it. Jeremy is dead and there is nothing I can do about it. It's all over. So just stop. Nothing is going to make it better! Nothing!"I was yelling now, foot on the acceleration, going to fast but I didn't care. I was loosing control but oh well. I didn't care at this point. I just wanted to scream or cry or maybe both but there was no where to go but to my empty house.

"Bonnie pull over." Matt told me, frowning deeply across the car at me.

"What's the point Matt?" I hissed back, throwing on the breaks in the middle of the road, sob building in my chest. "What's the point?" I screamed at him, throwing on the break and hopping out of the car. I walked into the forest without another thought, rushing through the trees, chest heaving with heavy sobs.

"Bonnie!" Matt yelled after me, chasing me through the trees but I pushed faster before ultimately tumbling to the ground. "Bonnie!" He yelled, kneeling by me and gently helping me up.

My chest heaved angrily as I tried not to cry but he just pulled me in, wrapped his strong arm around my body and rubbed my back. "It hurts Matt." I sobbed into his chest and he nodded.

"I know, Bonnie." It was quiet in my ear as he held me, arms tight around my body as I tried to regain coherency.

"I don't know what to do now." I pleaded against his shirt and he let out a sigh, biting his bottom lip as he rocked me back and forth like a baby.

He didn't attempt to tell me everything was going to be okay after that, he merely held me, keeping me close. And it helped. Not perfectly, but it helped. My body ached a little less and my heart felt more whole. Not perfect, but better. That's all I could really ask for.


End file.
